I haven't posted anything in a while. It's not entirely my fault; I see blogs as a place to brag about one's kids, and, as it stands now, we don't have kids and our hopes aren't too high on that one right now.
Saturday marks our 1 year anniversary. I've been taking some time to contemplate who I was a year ago compared to now. I was younger, and for the first time in my life, had found out exactly who I was and why I am here. On my wedding day, I saw promises given in my Patriarchal blessing fulfilled. In the temple, I can vividly remember the way Daniel looked at me, and the way I felt about him. I realized that the Lord had brought us together. A verse from scripture came to my mind, "What God hath put together, let no man put asunder." At that time, I understood my purpose in life. I realized that my place in life was next to my husband as a partner and comfort to him. Some might criticise what I discovered. I am a bit saddened to know that these kinds of people don't see things as I do.
From the time we met, and in some instances before, there was always something special about me to him and him to me. My very first memory of my husband took place when I was a Beehive in Young Women and he was in Priest's Quorum. We were at a combined YM/YW activity at the indoor pool in Winnemucca. We were playing some water game, where one team was trying to keep the ball from another. Somehow, my scrawny, non-athletic, beehive self got stuck guarding Benjamin's athletic (and since he was in High School, obviously cool) older brother. Needless to say, I was intimidated. I remember someone trying to pass the ball to either me or Daniel (who knows?) and I saw that I could catch the ball if I jumped! So I jumped, reached up for the ball, and it stayed in the air...Daniel, using his tall-powers, had reached over me and caught the ball himself. I was SO mad and embarrassed that I quietly got out of the pool and called my mom to take me home.
The next memory I have of him was when I was a Senior in High School, and Daniel had just gotten home from his mission. My seminary teacher had him come talk to the class about his mission. I remember listening to him as he spoke, thinking, "wow! He's actually really cool!" (I find it interesting that all I really remember about that particular morning was how Daniel was excited about investing the money left over from before his mission.) In a slight twist of irony, I also remember thinking, "I would really like to go on a date with him. Whoa, Stephanie, he just got home from his mission. You're in high school, still. Don't even let yourself go there." It turns out he was thinking similar things about me.
A few days after that, a friend and I went to visit the grave of a friend who had died a couple years before. While we were there, who should show up but this increasingly intriguing man? Out of no where, Daniel came walking up to us, and he and I had a real conversation. Even then, his sweet demeanor and wonderful personality made me feel safe. I think that was the first of many times he made me smile.
A few months later, I got in a pretty bad car accident. After we were married, Daniel told me that when he heard about this, he was worried about me, but he didn't know why since we barely even knew each other.
Then I went to college for the first time. Daniel says that the Sunday before I moved to Idaho is when he first really noticed me. I shared my testimony with the ward, and he says that it was my testimony that made me stand out from the crowd. Then I moved, each of us thinking the other would find someone else.
I didn't even think about him again until he asked me out on our first date. At the time, I was living with my parents in Winnemucca again. If it weren't for our moms, that date would never have happened. He called, I was in a bad mood and didn't answer the phone. (as it was ringing, I remember thinking, "Ugg! It's never for me, and of course it wouldn't be a guy asking me on a date! Someone else can get it!") No one else did, and Daniel didn't leave a message. When my mom got home from work, she looked at the caller ID, rushed into my bedroom, and said, "Stephanie! The Gibsons called! You have to call them back!"
Figuring my mom was nuts, I said, "No."
"Steph, you should really call them back."
At the time, Tawnja was our Relief Society President, so I angrily replied, "Mom, it's probably just Sister Gibson wanting YOU to do something for Relief Society. YOU call them!"
Lo and behold, a few minutes later, my mom comes into my room saying, "Stephanie, it's for you," (To which I thought, "great. I get to do something for church..." Like I said, I was in a bad mood) and then followed with, "It's a boy!"
Before I could ask, "wait, what!?" She gave me the phone. Sadly, when I got the phone, as surprised as I was, my bad mood made me want to say, "If this is you asking me on a date, NO!" Thankfully, Daniel was so nervous his cute little voice was shaking on the phone. By this point, I'd developed a rule that I could only go on dates with shy, awkward guys, since they were less likely to lie to me. When I heard him try to sound composed and in control, I was, on the inside, giving a girly squeel. You know, the high-pitched, "AWWWWWWWW!!!!" There was no way I could say no to him. I'm glad I didn't say no. I'm also glad neither of us gave in to our fears about our relationship and called it quits.
It was when he first said "I love you," that I knew I wasn't letting go. He didn't say it out loud. (To be honest, I don't really remember the first time he said "I love you" out loud and knew that he meant it.) I was planning a trip back to Winnemucca to spend a weekend with my parents. The night before I left, we were outside my apartment, and were talking about my trip. I've always been pretty reckless, with limited care about what would happen to me if things went wrong. I saw how my actions could affect others, but when it came to keeping myself safe for no one else besides myself, I just wasn't able to see why. So as he and I talked about potential car crashes, and I joked around, not really caring what happened to me, Daniel looked at me with an expression I've not been able to describe, and said, "You need to live for you." In his eyes, I saw him say, "I love you. Please be safe." At that moment, the Spirit was there, confirming what felt I saw. On my trip, if I found myself speeding or driving carelessly, the spirit would whisper, "There's someone out there who loves you. Don't let his prayers be in vain." These thoughts prompted me to slow down and drive more carefully.
After a rocky courtship, we were engaged and finally married. He proved to me that it was possible to open my heart and to love. He proved to me that it was possible to be loved without needing to be anything else but myself. While being married, he has proven to me that love can last more than a few days. He has helped me see that I am not my parents. His love, in many ways, has saved my life. His pure devotion and absolute loyalty are things I thought no one could possibly possess. I'm a better person because of him. He and the Lord have raised me up to much more than I could ever have been alone. I love them very much.
