Live Like You're Poor And You Never Will Be

Note, I take a very firm position of considering myself neither liberal or conservative, as I find being only one or the other would be prohibitive of my ability to research issues and decide what is correct for myself.

We look like hippies. We don't use our dryer, opting for a clothesline, we have an oldschool reel lawn mower (as in, totally manual powered; no gas or electricity for it), we cloth diaper the baby, compost organic food waste, the majority of our food is cooked from scratch, we buy flour and oatmeal in 25-50 pound bags, don't have cable or satellite, and walk/ride bikes more often than we drive. The only thing missing from the equation is "hemp." Our neighbors think we're eco-nuts, however, we can snicker at our reasoning behind our hippie-like nature.

Our family motto has been and will be, "Live like you're poor and you never will be." Our fiscally conservative nature actually aligns heavily with the environmentalist movement. All of the things I previously mentioned that we do has a financial basis before it has a moral/religious/ethic/whatever basis.

Let's look at some of these things individually, and I'll explain how these things work in our favor financially.

1) Cloth Diapers
     Yes, I cloth diaper my child. Yes, I recommend cloth diapering for a myriad of reasons, however, let's look at the cost effectiveness of them. On average, the cheap disposable diapers cost $0.20/diaper. Anya is a crazy pooper, so we easily go through 5-6 poopy diapers a day, cloth or disposable. If you count wet diapers, let's say she goes through 8 a day. In a 30 day period, we can round that to $50/month! That's only for the way cheap diapers that no one likes anyway!

2) Composting
     I know this one sounds weird, but I like to garden, and I'd rather use my own leftovers which would just go in the trash anyway than paying extra for fertilizer.

3) Clothesline
     Not using the dryer obviously saves us on our power bill. Why heat the house more during the summer with the dryer when the clothes can dry quickly outside?

4) T.V.
     By not having T.V., we're healthier since we're not couch potatoes, don't use the T.V. as much, thus saving on power, and don't have to worry about paying for a monthly subscription. We can find most everything we want to watch online, anyway.

5) Using "foot power"
     Who wants to pay for gas, anyway? Let's stick it to the gas companies by using the free power of walking and riding bikes!


By living by the "Live Like You're Poor" motto, the only debt we currently have is our mortgage, and it feels so good to not have to worry about credit card debt hanging over our heads. If Daniel were to lose his job, it would undoubtably be hard, but we wouldn't be hounded by debt collectors. My advice to you, my faithful friends, is to live WAY below your means, pay off debt, and live a happier life! People may think you're crazy, but when you have net worth and they don't, who's really crazy in the end?

Anya Marie

I just wanted to say, I LOVE MY LITTLE GIRL! My sweet, smart, wild, funny baby is one of the most entertaining people I know, and I feel so thankful to have her.

Anyaism of the night: eating a big jar of spaghetti, peas, and a bowl of oatmeal in 30 minutes without throwing up.

Anyaism of yesterday: while in a little inflatable baby floater at the pool, she started kicking her legs to splash, realized that kicking makes her move, and gleefully "swimmed" around the pool.

Small Girl

Anyone can tell that Anya is unusually small. She's turning 9 months old this week, and grew into 6-9 month outfits last week. She has virtually no baby fat, and we estimate her weight to be around 15 pounds.

Her pediatrician has always been concerned by Anya's weight. She has always been in the 0 percentile for weight, and just isn't catching up very quickly at all. Dr. Brownstein, as well as all of the other pediatricians at the clinic she works at, is also pretty baffled by Anya, since pretty much all babies who have trouble gaining weight are listless, sad, and just don't look well. All of you who know Anya know that she's a happy little firework who's always going everywhere and getting into everything! Her size aside, she looks happy and healthy. She has been hitting all of her developmental milestones beautifully (except sitting up, but that's due to a genetically inherited lack of bottom. Free cookies to the person who guesses if it's Daniel or I that passed on that trait!) and doesn't act sick at all. The strong muscles in her little body are very defined, and she eats like a horse! She, overall, is very healthy. However, I can't help but worry when I see other babies who have baby fat and realize mine doesn't.

Anya's on a pretty strict diet of baby food mixed with baby cereal and a scoop of formula at least four-5 times a day. In between these meals, she eats peanut butter sandwiches, cheerios, and gets lots of bites of whatever I'm eating. (within reason, of course. I would never give her popcorn, hot dogs, or anything that I know would make her sick or hurt her.) She easily drinks 16-20 oz of formula during the day, sleeps enough, yet in spite of all of this, is still skinny as could be.

Don't get me wrong; I'm extremely thankful for how healthy, active, and funny this girl is! Sometimes, though, I see her compared to other kids and the "mom worry" kicks in full force. With the "mom worry," my mind gets flooded with questions like, "Am I not feeding her enough? What else could I feed her? Is she sick and no one knows it?" etc. etc.

As I mentioned before, Anya's a little firework, and said firework is going to make the heavy vacuum cleaner tip over on her cute little body without Mommy intervention, so this is me signing off with a question for you, my faithful 2.3 readers: What higher calorie foods do you give/ have given your 9 month old children? We're willing to try anything!

Finding Comfort

We live in times of great sorrow at the hands of others. Evil men have been allowed to take power by the people in their respective jurisdictions, and we see the pain they cause every day on the news, and at times, in our own lives.

This has been troubling my mind, however, as I've prayed and studied the scriptures, I've taken comfort in some verses found in the Book of Mormon. In Alma, chapter 31, we learn of a dissenting group known as the Zoramites, who were led by a man named Zoram, who had turned to idolatry rather than the correct principles they had been taught by prophets of God. Alma, one of the greatest missionaries in the Book of Mormon and also a high priest of the church, takes a group with him for a missionary effort to try and bring these people back to the gospel of Christ which they had been part of.

When they get to Jershon, where the Zoramites lived, they were dumbfounded at how bad things had gotten in Jershon. One one day a week, they would, one by one, stand on a tall stage, and loudly, publicly, repeat a single, scripted prayer, thanking God for making them better than others and thanking him for sending everyone who wasn't born to them to hell. They had shunned the poor in Jershon, not allowing them to worship God at all. The poor were esteemed as dross and treated like second-class citezens. In other areas, the poor were taken care of by those who had more to spare, and all were invited to worship God.

Prior to this, Alma had worked tirelessly to teach the gospel to many people. He had seen firsthand how it had blessed the lives of the individuals who joined the church. It broke his heart to see people of his own nation and culture to have turned away from the gospel and then despise the poor of them. Before proceeding further, with what I must assume a great temptation to turn away and just go home, he prays to the Lord. The words he speaks in this prayer can apply to us who live in a world filled with so much evil:

And he lifted up his voice to heaven, and cried, saying: O, how long, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that thy servants shall dwell here below in the flesh, to behold such gross wickedness among the children of men?Behold, O God, they cry unto thee, and yet their hearts are swallowed up in their pride. Behold, O God, they cry unto thee with their mouths, while they are puffed up, even to greatness, with the vain things of the world.
Behold, O my God, their costly apparel, and their ringlets, and their bracelets, and their ornaments of gold, and all their precious things which they are ornamented with; and behold, their hearts are set upon them, and yet they cry unto thee and say—We thank thee, O God, for we are a chosen people unto thee, while others shall perish.
Yea, and they say that thou hast made it known unto them that there shall be no Christ.
O Lord God, how long wilt thou suffer that such wickedness and infidelity shall be among this people? O Lord, wilt thou give me strength, that I may abear with mine infirmities. For I am infirm, and such wickedness among this people doth pain my soul.
O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul ain Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these bafflictions which shall come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people.
O Lord, wilt thou comfort my soul, and give unto me success, and also my fellow laborers who are with me—yea, Ammon, and Aaron, and Omner, and also Amulek and Zeezrom, and also my btwo sons—yea, even all these wilt thou comfort, O Lord. Yea, wilt thou comfort their souls in Christ.
Wilt thou grant unto them that they may have strength, that they may abear their afflictions which shall come upon them because of the iniquities of this people...Now it came to pass that when Alma had said these words, that he ^aclapped his ^bhands upon all them who were with him. And behold, as he clapped his hands upon them, they were filled with the Holy Spirit.
And after that they did separate themselves one from another, ataking no thought for themselves what they should eat, or what they should drink, or what they should put on.

And the Lord provided for them that they should hunger not, neither should they thirst; yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of aafflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ. Now this was according to the prayer of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith.


Alma chapter 31, where this is borrowed, can be found at http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/31?lang=eng


May we allow the Lord to bless us and fill us with his spirit, that we may suffer no manner of afflictions and not be heavily burdened by the evil which exists in our world. These things I say in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Lutropublicaphobia

Or, in words we would actually use, "fear of public restrooms."

I am seriously one of the unluckiest people alive when it comes to weird people in bathrooms!

When I was 7, my family went camping and we stopped for a bathroom break in a middle-of-nowhere town in Nevada. When I say middle-of-nowhere, I'm not referring to a place like Winnemucca or Battle Mountain which have gas stations and fast food resturants. No, when I say middle-of-nowhere, I mean the only place with a public bathroom was the local bar, and the town was so far away from real civilization that there was a "play area" in the bar where people could bring their kids! From the bar itself, this little play area was about 5 feet and was just a corner with toys in it! When I think "white trash" the people I met in this bar come to mind.
My dad, of course, stopped at the bar on the way to the bathroom for a beer, my mom stayed in the truck, and I proceeded to go to the ladies room. Well, here's where my lutropublicaphobia begins. The bathroom door didn't close all the way nor did it have a door handle. Now, I REALLY had to go, and I knew it was between this place and the side of the highway for me, so I made a quick decision that I would pee as quickly as I could and run as fast as my twiggy little legs could carry me! Everything was going according to plan until I realized what REALLY needing to go means. As I'm sitting on this toilet I'm terrified of touching, willing by bladder to empty itself faster, this loud, obnoxious drunk lady comes strolling toward the bathroom, (remember, the door doesn't close, so I can see this happening) THROWS the door open, and loudly asks, "Hey kid? Are you using the toilet?" Thankfully I was already on the toilet, otherwise I can almost guarentee I would have wet myself in sheer humiliation.

Now, I was taught that the polite thing to do in this instance is look away and quickly, but politely, exit the bathroom. Apparently, normal human curteousy didn't exist in this town, since instead of leaving and waiting her turn, she stares at me!

 "Kid, are you peeing?" Apparently she thought I didn't hear her the first time, since she said this much slower than before and MUCH louder! Now, nearly in tears, I nod my head, and she yells to the rest of the bar, "Hey! No one go in here! Some kid's peeing!" Then to me, "Don't worry, I'll make sure no one comes in."

Um...YOU ALREADY CAME IN YOU PSYCHO!

At some point I must have pulled my pants back up since the next thing I remember is BOLTING out of the bar and back into the truck. I was too embarassed to even tell my parents what happened, so they attributed my bad mood to being hungry or tired.


Alright, that was probably one of the most embarassing moments of my childhood, and I would NOT use a public bathroom unless it was an emergency for YEARS. In High School, I conquered this fear a bit by using the bathroom during class when I knew the bathroom was less likely to be used, however if someone else was in there before me, I would either decide to hold it or find a completely different bathroom! I know, this sounds crazy! About a week after we got married, Daniel discovered this fear, to my complete horror. (Although, looking back, it wasn't too hard to figure that one out...) Then pregnancy made me face this fear so often (Thanks, Anya. Using my bladdar as a punching bag did serve a good purpose) that now, if I have to go, I'll be the first to ask where the bathroom is.

Well, since we moved into our new house, the universe seems to have remembered my bathroom issues, and now weird things keep happening when I use public bathrooms.

Anya and I went to Smith's early one morning after taking Daniel to work, and I had to go. I got the baby, went into the bathroom with the intent of using the handicapped stall, and there's some Smith's employee in the women's room, with the stall door WIDE open, who apparently thought the men's urinals weren't good enough for him. Unlike the crazy lady at the bar in the middle of no where, I quickly left the bathroom and went home. Like I said, I had to go!

Then today, Anya and I walked to a grocery store closer to our house, and apparently I need to learn better bladder control since I had to go while we were there! The kicker for this one is I forgot to put on my glasses, and the lighting at this store isn't very good. So I find the bathrooms, but can't tell which one is for men and which is for women! I picked the one that looked like the little person was wearing a dress, go inside, and before I even get to the stalls, hear what CANNOT be a woman using the bathroom. I looked under the questionable stall, and see men's boots facing the wrong direction for this person to be a woman. I'm thinking, "Crap! Wrong room!" and Anya and I bust out as quickly as possible. I look at the sign more closely, and, sure enough, it has to be the WOMEN'S room! I checked the other sign as well, and there was no indication of a "Wo" before the "Mens." Yep, some weirdo decided HE was too good for men's urinals and decided to use the women's room here too.

Alright, I get that I'm unlucky, but men who use the women's room, STOP IT! IT'S GROSS AND IT MAY GET YOU MACED BY SOME UNLUCKY LADY WITH A SOCIAL BABY! PLEASE, please, don't let my bad luck rub off on you and use the appropriate bathrooms assigned to us based on our basic human anatomy. Thank you.

Now that the universe has rediscovered its sick pleasure in mocking me, I'll likely be posting more stories about my lack of luck.

www.ThingsStephanieLikes.gov.www/thingsStephanielikes

Yeah, I had to throw a "The Office" reference in here somehow...

On a more get-to-the-point note, you, my faithful 2.3 readers, may be happy to know some of the things I like and want to advertise a bit.

1. Tacos Daniel
     Located here in Salt Lake at like 900 North and 900 West, Tacos Daniel doesn't look like much to the untrained eye. Located in a prominiently Hispanic part of Rose Park, it's easy to miss in a shopping plaza targeted toward other Hispanics. To just turn around and go somewhere else, though, would be a BIG mistake, since this place ROCKS! The servers are friendly and like Daniel and I. (although I'm pretty sure when they see us coming, they say, "Oh, it's that weird white lady who tips well and yells at the T.V. when soccer is on." I'm not saying this would be bad, just true. I'm a bit addicted to the game and even though the game is always shown on Univision at Tacos Daniel, I can figure out what's going on and get overly excited. I just realized that I'M the one who usually suggests eating here even though all three of us love the food...) The pre-meal chips and salsa are DELICIOUS, but pale in comparison to the Burrito a la Diabla! Actually, anything "a la diabla" is worth getting made fun of by friendly Hispanics because you're yelling at their T.V. and THEN asking your husband, who speaks fluent Spanish, what the commentators and refs are saying about the game. Their Nachos Fiesta are AMAZING as well, and we somehow end up eating here about once a week. Plus, if you buy something at the Rose Park Smith's, there is always Tacos Daniel coupons on the back of the reciept.

2. I Am A Mother by Jane Clayson Johnson and The Mommy Myth by Susan J. Douglas
      I'll admit, sometimes I fell pretty insecure about being a mom. EVERYONE has a strong opinion about how to raise and care for kids, and every now and then, one of those opinions gets tossed at me when I'm not expecting it and I start to think things like, "Wait, what if taking away the plastic from the baby is actually stunting her emotional development?" or, "If I feed my baby anything that isn't green, maybe she won't have an I.Q. of 25 million!"
      Alright, so maybe these examples are a little (or a lot) on the extreme side. However, how many of you moms look at you're mothering groove and wonder if it's the right thing for everyone in the long run? If you're like me, probably a couple times a week when things are going smoothly and all the time if something like teething or, as Anya and I are struggling with right now, a normal but exhausting phase of seperation anxiety happens? With this new seperation anxiety phase we've hit, I frequently find myself wondering, "Am I holding her too much? Not enough? Does she feel loved?"
      Jane Clayson Johnson gives us comforting words about our incredible roles as "the mom." She gave her own experiences of choosing to be a stay-at-home mom instead of having her children be with nannies while she worked as a very busy journalist. Whether or not we're working moms or stay-at-home moms who can't remember the last time we actually had a conversation with another big person, I loved how she emphasized that, "every little girl knows mothers matter."
      The Mommy Myth is definitely appealing to my "stick it to the man!" personality. Douglas talks about how "The Mommy Myth," modern society's misconception of what "the best mom" should be, which gives us as real moms absolutely no room to mess up with our kids or risking the earth falling into a black hole when we don't cook fresh, organic meals with a smile on our face for these little people. If nothing else, it has so far caused me to say, "Rock on!" and laugh a little bit.

3. Money
    If I ever go back to school, I'm going to be a business major and probably end up taking over the world and ruling with an iron fist. Okay, so the fear of assination keeps me from that last one, but I love being the one in charge of our finances and finding ways to save money and make more money. For instance, quite a bit of money has been going to gas (argh) and eating out. With gas, I can't really control the price at the pump, but I can have control over how much gas we use. Anya and I have started walking to the grocery store and only getting what we need and what we can carry home. I end up saving money by realizing that my impulse purchases will turn the stroller into a shopping cart and I'll end up having to varry a very wiggly sack of potatoes in one arm. We get what we need without the car, and get good exercise and "fresh air." ("Fresh air?" Ha! We live in Salt Lake City! There's almost always smog in the air! Another reason to drive less!)
    It's my personal opinion that every woman should be at least aware of what is happening to their family's money, and should be essential to planning a budget each month. Money is something that every marriage and relationship will need to deal with on a regular basis, and men and women need to be on the same page when it comes to family finances. Daniel and I disucss our monthly budget and adjust it together. He and I both know where the money is going every month, and both commit to sticking to the budget we both approve of together.


I'll probably hit this list up more later, but for now, it's almost midnight and I have a Primary lesson to teach tomorrow. If I fall asleep during Sharing Time, somehow I don't think that I'll be setting the best example to the kids in my class.

Adoption

Since Anya was born, I've been saying, "I want to wait 2-3 years to have another baby." I've been pretty adament about this, and, in a sense, I still am. I absolutely do not want to be pregnant until AT LEAST Anya is 2. Pregnancy was hard! Add my VERY active and mischevious child to the mix, and the idea of being pregnant is kind of scary! Plus, my body doesn't like conception very much, and I'll admit, I really don't want to risk having another miscarriage right now. My dad just died. Losing a baby too would be far too much to handle. If you've experienced the pain of miscarriage, you probably know what I'm talking about on this one.

However, as I'm watching my baby become a little girl so quickly, I remember what it was like for me to be an only child for so much of my childhood. I think of my 4 bedroom house with only 2 bedrooms being used. As Daniel and I relate childhood stories with one another, I love how he always had someone to play with and fight with, as the case may have been. I also love seeing the tenderness and understanding he and his brother have toward each other even now. Although they're very different people, they obviously have a respect and loyalty to one another.

For myself, I want another child. For Anya, I want another child. However, I really am not ready to be pregnant right now.

One thing Daniel and I have looked into since before Anya was concieved is adoption. We really want to be foster parents and we'd like to adopt to add to our family. To us, it doesn't matter if we adopt a baby or an older child.

Therefore, this is me publicly stating that we need to get a few things in order to feel better about adoption, such as health insurance and starting to save up to be able to more easily pay for the adoption costs. Until then, we can benefit the lives of many children who are in foster care and whose families are working to become better parents to be able to raise these children themselves. This is something we've both felt very good about, and at least want to try.